Temporary sparkplug fix
So I thought, "well shit, I don't have another plug with me...and I don't think I have a plug wrench anyway...".
So I decided to take the plug connector thing (which usually sits between the end of the cable and the plug itself) off and see if I could convince the cable itself to just sort of perch on top of the remains of the broken plug.
Amazingly, this 'repair' lasted ALL THE WAY HOME. I stopped once at the top of greenlake to push the cable back on as it had backed off a little. The voltage meter I have on the bike read high the whole trip, I assume because the connection was not ideal, but the bike performed normally.
Once home I put in a new plug and it is good as new.
But really. WTF?!